What does my face tell you?
By Teresa A. LeNeave
?? Did You Know ??
Less than 20% of what we say
comes out of our mouth
That means more than 80% of everything we say people are not paying attention to because they are paying attention to our attitude, our facial expressions and other body language.
What does that have to do with being a Christian?
What's not jiving?
We say we love each other, but is that what people pick up on? We say we want to win the lost, but will anyone believe it if what they see is sadness or anger?
We say we want the sinner to accept Christ and we tell them how much they need him, but what is registering in their mind from our body language?
We say we want good relationships with our husbands and wives, but what are they really hearing when we never talk or spend time together?
We say we want friends, but when someone asks us to go somewhere with them, and they see the hesitation in our eyes, or hear it in our voice, does that feel like a direct "dump"?
Have you ever tried to talk to someone who was making an effort to be nice, but you knew they didn't want to talk to you? I have. Their body said more than their words. What about times you was talking to someone but their eyes were roaming all the time? You knew they had already left the conversation.
We've all experienced things like that. We pick up on body language and other people does the same thing to us. So what are we really saying to them? What are they hearing that we are not saying with our mouth?
Psychologist say our faces and body language are clear indicators of what we really want, and feel, regardless of what we say. Facial expression and body language is a clear indicator of whether we want to be around someone or not.
The face and eyes are like a mirror showing what we really think and feel.
On the face, we see excitement, boredom, aggravation, disgust, loneliness, anxiety, embarrassment, fear, sorrow, disinterest, and every other emotion we feel including that, "not sure what to do next" look.
So what can we do?
Again, I ask, "What does all this have to do with Christianity?" It's about being genuine. It's about really caring about the lost...no matter who they are. It's about being a doer of the Word and not a hearer only.
The Bible asks these questions, "Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? Can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs?" Then, he answers, "No and neither can a salt spring produce fresh water." (Jas. 3:12).
Our feelings show. We are not very good at hiding emotions. James goes on to say, "What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don't they come from your desires that battle within you? Where envying and strife are, there is confusion and every evil work" (James 3:4).
It's hard to build relationships with our spouses, our friends, or anyone else when we are so busy. Most Americans work longer hours than they ever did in spite of today's technology.
Why is that? Do we actually have to work more, or are we just needing to "fill up space in our lives" that we don't want to give to someone else? Do you work long hours to keep from communicating, visiting, and building relationships?
I may be entirely wrong, but I think some of us are work-a-holics because its easier than taking time to build friendships. Friendship requires a lot of time and we aren't willing to devote that time to someone else.
The big question is: Are we any better at developing a relationship with God than we are with each other? Jesus said if we can't love the one we see how can we love the one we can't see?
Experts tell us, to have a GOOD relationship, both people have to have close to the same level of commitment to each other. God is totally committed. He sent his Son, Jesus, to die for our sins so we could connect with him. Do we even come near the same level of commitment that He has for us? He is asking for our time. Our love. Our devotion. Our determination and our faithfulness. He simply asks for the same level of commitment that we give to anyone we want to truly invest in. Strong, healthy relationships are built on the belief that we are all of equal value. Here's what Jesus said about that:: "..the glory which Thou (God) has given me (Jesus), I have given them (Christians), that they may be one, even as we are one" (John 17:22).
What does our attitude and body language say to people we are around? What are they hearing? Does our body language scream louder than our words?
"Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father, who is in heaven" (Matthew 5:16).