Communication by Dr. J.T. Parish

J.T. Parish

An old Vermont farmer was driving down the road and his wife who was sitting near the door of the passenger side said, “Why don’t we sit close together like we used to?” Being a man of few words he drove on a couple of miles before he replied, “I ain’t moved.”

                  Communication is the key to a good marriage and the lack of communication is the cause of myriads of marriage problems. Actually there are three kinds of communication – Good, Bad, and None. None is worse than bad. When a spouse clams up and begins to give their partner the silent treatment the door is open for all sorts of mischief. Just because their tongues are silent doesn’t mean their minds are. In that kind of atmosphere their imagination runs wild. Imagination is the biggest nation in the world. Walls are built in their minds that guarantee the situation will get worse. When communication completely breaks down the marriage is in serious trouble.

                  Bad communication is unpleasant but at least they are continuing to talk to each other. In a marriage screaming, cussing, name calling, verbal abuse, and accusatory language should never happen. Anyone old enough to get married is old enough to communicate as an adult and not as a spoiled brat.

                  Good communication consists of only two things – talking and listening. If couples would talk out their problems at the “Mole Hill” level they would never become mountains. The main hindrance to most good communication is the failure to listen. Listening is almost a lost art. When a person listens to what his/her spouse is saying, really saying, from the heart, then understanding comes.

                  I have never seen a marriage end in divorce when both husband and wife wanted to work out their problems and were willing to listen to each other and communicate.