Every now and then I try to get my wife into the hunting and fishing scene by sharing a little knowledge about various things. While some wives are as avid hunters as their husbands; mine prefers to let me do the killin' and cleanin' and she'll do the cookin'. It seems, however, more and more of the hunting TV shows are leaning towards having hosts who are comprised of a husband and wife team. And most of the time this team looks like they just came off the modeling runway before they suited up in their camo. It used to be that an outdoorsman or outdoorswoman had a history of this kind of activity. Many of the men were like Tom Miranda who grew up trapping before he became a famous hunting personality. Today it seems that we have taken the perfect looking couple and turned them into hunters by giving them guns, trail cameras, and property that is running over with deer or turkey. The rugged climb to locate prey has been replaced by a ride in the electric buggy to the heated tree stand that has been placed there by a hired hand. There is no doubt the hunting business is replacing the hunt and that Hollywood has come to the hardwoods. Now back to my wife.
We were riding on the four-wheeler the other day when I took the opportunity to impart knowledge. I pointed to the pile of cow dung that had been scratched up by a turkey. I simply said, "Look at that pile. A turkey has been there." To which she replied, "Boy that must be a big turkey!" Well, needless to say, she didn't get the message I was trying to convey. I'm not sure what kind of message the hunting industry is trying to convey today either but I sure hope that it has something to do with the fact that everybody can hunt. Whether you are part of a hunting couple or whether you just prefer killin' or grillin'; we're glad to have you. And it also doesn't matter what you look like. It sort of reminds me of some advice an old barber once shared with me. He said, "When it comes to haircuts, remember a couple of things.... The only difference between a good one and a bad one is two days. And you can't make a thoroughbred out of a mule." I'm not sure if he was making a general statement or one that was just meant for me. I was afraid to ask, but I got the message. Now back to my wife..... again.
Honey, you just stay at home and I'll try to either shoot that turkey or put a saddle on him. But thanks for letting me go.