Stop the Merry-go-round
By Teresa LeNeave
You may be one of them. One of the people who have been badly hurt because someone else thought "speaking their mind" was "the right thing to do". You may even be one who did the speaking ... thinking you were doing the right thing.
Often it's not what we say, but how we say it that cuts like a knife. Tone, attitude, body language, and even the look in a person's eye conveys a great message. As a Christ-follower, it is our responsibility to watch what we're saying; how we say it; and why we're saying it. Lives are at stake. When a person's feelings are hurt, human nature causes us to develop invisible walls to protect ourselves. Once the merry-go-round starts, it's hard to get off. Every hurt makes them a little harder. It's like a merry-go-round that you can't get off of.
How can this cycle stop? Only the offended person can stop the run-a-way emotional train. People will hurt you. Things will happen. Life sometimes is unfair. People do, or say, things that makes you feel terrible. You want to run. You want to quit. You want to avoid, but that doesn't work because someone else will offend you again. We can't stop what we have no control over and one of those things is other people.
I've been hurt many times, just as you have. Some of those times, I could quickly forgive and forget it. Other times, I've had to go through a process of forgiveness. Sometimes it didn't happen just because I said I forgave them. My feelings had to be healed and that took time. But, every time forgiveness came. Forgiveness is an intentional choice. Even when it's painful, we must stay determined to forgive. When we do, we will always end up with better emotional health.
God gave us feelings and emotions for a purpose. Feelings give spice to life. But, if we allow our feelings and emotions to rule us, we end up with emotional messes. According to the Bible, even Jesus had the same feelings and emotions we have, yet without sinning (Hebrews 4:15). He never gave in to wrong feelings. He didn't let negative feelings and negative emotions lead him. His emotions didn't rule his tongue.
Because Jesus overcame the battle of emotions, we can go to Him with ours. He won't condemn you for how you're feeling. If you are sincere in wanting to control your emotions, go to God. Ask Him to help you get over the hurt and to forgive those who have hurt you and brought pain into your life. Ask Him to help you not to condemn them and not to retaliate with words that match theirs.
Satan wants to cause us to be hard and callous. He wants to sink unforgiveness deep down into our souls where it will wreak havoc on our health. He knows that will stop your peace and even your spiritual growth. Don't let satan be the master of your emotions.
The person who's offended you may not do things the way you wanted them done; maybe they harmed you physically or even worse, emotionally; maybe their eyes never see the good in you; maybe they have stolen from you; gossiped about you or tried to destroy you ... even then, if you let God, He'll help you can put it aside and not let negative emotions rule your life. Do not let negative emotions rule your life.
Don't be enslaved by what others say about. What does God say about you? Focus on that.