When You Have A Cat Amongst Your Pigeons by Sally Burgess, Forefront Families LLC
Sally Burgess, Forefront Families LLC
WHEN YOU HAVE A CAT AMONGST YOUR PIGEONS!
by Sally Burgess, Forefront Families LLC
A friend asked me a great question the other day. She said, "How do you get your other more compliant children to understand and get along with your strong-willed child?" That gave me real food for thought. We have talked a lot over the years about how parents might best manage a strong-willed child, but have never really thought about helping siblings cope with their strong-willed brother or sister.
While being strong-willed has its great points, these kids are often bossy, intolerant and impatient. They want to get their own way and insist their opinions are fact. All of these traits demand much parental attention, often causing the other kids in the family to feel frustrated, angry, jealous and bereft of their parents' time and energy.
So, how can we best ensure that each of our kids feel they are not only included, but also equally valued? The first thing is to recognize each child's personality. It would be a really helpful idea to research the different personality traits that may be displayed in your family.
You might note the following:
Second, talk to your kids about your discoveries. They need to
understand that we are all different, but that each trait of our personalities has value. Third, having understood what the various personality traits are, create a plan to encourage the positives and curb the negative ones. Parents, we need to give each child the amount of time and attention that will bring out the positive side of their personality. We need to be aware that a strong-willed child will soak up a disproportionate amount of our time so channeling their energy in a positive direction is paramount and urgent. We cannot afford to give up and allow them to rule the home. They need to learn to take their turn, play fair and act unselfishly.
We need to protect and encourage our quiet, sensitive children. When we give them one-on-one face time it allows them to talk about what they are feeling and what they need from us as well as their siblings to feel happy and secure. Watch out for aggressive streaks in your kids and accept that fighting usually comes from frustration and jealousy. Dismissing it as, 'Oh well, kids will be kids' is not addressing the disharmony in the home.
Every personality has value and it is our responsibility to bring out the best in each other. If you have any comments on this subject we would love to hear from you at firstname.lastname@example.org. Also, check out our blogsite at www.forefrontfamilies.blogspot.com or our website with its hundreds of parenting articles www.forefrontfamilies.org